Thursday, September 11, 2008

Eating Again

I wasn't going to blog about this but, I'm home from work today and I've got nothing else to do so, here goes...

I'm having a medical procedure done tomorrow known as a colonoscopy so, I have to fast for 24 hours before the procedure. I'm told that African American males over 40 should have one of these done annually. (If this is TMI... skip this and read my next post. I'll understand.) I'm not going to get into all of the specifics but, basically I'm not allowed to eat. Funny thing is... now that I "can't" eat, all I can think about is FOOD!

I woke up and turned on the Television this morning to catch the news and what is the first thing I see? A commercial for IHOP! I check my blog to see if my last post got any comments and there's the photo of a roast beef sandwich on the post.

I got in my car, drove to the gas station, filled my tank, got my car washed and detailed, and then bought the only things I am allowed to have... Gatorade (yuck), bottled water, apple juice and lemonade flavored Kool-Aid. (I can’t even have cherry flavored Kool-Aid!)

I called my doctor and asked him, "Doc, can't I have a light breakfast?" (I was gonna go to I-Hop and eat everything in sight.) He laughed and said, "No, you can't eat anything today... just clear liquids and/or maybe a light broth" (yuck again, I hate broth). Then, the doctor paused... "Look, it's early... you can have ONE cup of coffee but, that's it."

So, I went to Dunkin Donuts and got a large coffee. The donuts on the counter seemed to be calling my name... I looked around and I saw a guy that looked just like me in a red silk suit, with red gators on. He said, "Go on Keith... get just one donut. It's 8:00 in the mornin' and your procedure ain't 'til tomorrow. Who's gonna know? Go on... eat that donut, baby. Ain't nobody gonna know." Then, I saw another guy who looked like me in a white linen suit with some white alligator sandals on and some shades (like Kanye West) who said to me, "Come on brother, let's get out of here. He let you have the coffee. Now, don't mess this up. Don't listen to that cat in the red suit... a red suit? How jive is that?" I was just about to leave when the guy in the red suit said to me, "Don't listen to him. Who wears a white suit after Labor Day anyway?" The guy in the white suit said, "This is Rocawear brother. Deal with it... you so yesterday with that."

While they were arguing over after life fashion ... (Hey, even my angels and devils got style! Don't they?) I left the store with just the one cup of coffee, my clear beverages, and went home.

So, here I am... blogging, lurking, and surfing... and trying to get my mind off of tomorrow. By the time you read this, I will be eating again. I will be killing some food. Choi!


Anonymous said...

good luck tomorrow


Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

The devil came up in there pimped out trying to tempt you...LOL...

I pray all goes well with your procedure...and the results are all good! Peace Brother

Anonymous said...

I'm proud that you are getting a colonoscopy. Alot of black men don't when they should.

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

well, i certainly know the feeling but you only have to go one day on restriction. when i was pregnant, i had a special diet of the blandest, most disgusting foods. i got to a point where i was enlisting food smuggling ninjas to sneak things to me cuz i was on bedrest on top of everything else. so feel better that tomorrow, you can eat whatever you want :-)

get some rest and good luck!

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Hope all goes well! My mom just had one of those not to long ago. She said it wasn't that bad. I wan't there to take her :-(. She's 55 so her Dr. told her it was time.

From what she said the worst part was the fasting oh and that stuff that make you drink.


Mizrepresent said...

Hey Keith, hang in there...i had the same procedure and really you don't want to eat a thing...ewwwww. Okay so enjoy that Food later!

CurvyGurl said...

Hey Keith. Funny how temptations arise when you really need to be good. Like Southern Gal, I'm also proud that you're taking good care of yourself. Small price for peace of mind. Although I must admit...I hope virtual colonoscopy becomes more reliable by the time I need one :).


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