Next Time Someone Breaks Your Heart

I saw her today in the building I work in... the last person who actually broke my heart. Oh, this was what my parents would have called an "old flame", I suppose. We were, to coin another of their phrases, "pretty hot and heavy" at one time... although, you'd never know it by today's meeting. We barely acknowledged each other and it's been awhile since we've seen each other.

I recall that we broke up a week before Christmas. It was really over something silly (break ups usually are, especially when you're a twenty-something). She had a history of standing me up when we were supposed to go somewhere or do something. She stood me up on what was supposed to be our first date. She called later with a lame excuse, long after I had given up and gone to sleep.

After a while, I felt like the woman in the relationship. I was the one waiting by the phone for somebody that might or might not call. On this particular night, (it was the 80's) "Dynasty" was on... she never missed an episode of Blake Carrington's adventures and she made me watch it too when I would come by her house. She imagined herself as a black Joan Collins. I was no Blake (as she often would remind me) nor did I want to be.

We had made plans to go out. I went to her house and we watched Dynasty and "Knots Landing" (another show that I could take or leave... now, if it had been Miami Vice or Crime Story, I could have gotten behind that). I was already mad that I had to wait through these two shows but then, after Knots Landing went off, she yawns and decides that she doesn't want to go out after all.

If this was anybody else with a different track record and under different circumstances, I probably wouldn't have gotten mad but, for some reason, I exploded... this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Even she was surprised at how mad I was... her eyes got as big as saucers. I pointed at her and said, "You know, one day I'm going to find me somebody who will give me the kind of relationship I want and when I do... you and me are gonna be history... done." She was inititially afraid then, she got her courage up and said, "Yeah, right... like YOU could do that..." and she began laughing. The laughter only made me more angry and my voice got louder.

One of her drunken nephews stumbled into the living room... he was about two or three years younger than me and he said, "Hey man, watch your tone of voice with my aunt." I looked at him menacingly and said, "Stay out of grown folks business, junior." Nobody in the neighborhood took him serious and this attempt of his at flexing was mildly humorous to both me and his aunt. We both looked at him in disbelief for a moment... then, he threw his hands up as if to say, "Well I tried" and walked away.

I said all I had to say and left her house in a huff. I had done this before and (always) after a few days, whether she was wrong or not, I would always come back. I'm pretty sure she thought that I'd get over it this time too but, a funny thing happened on my way out. I ran into a girl who lived across the street who had been observing us from the beginning. She said to me, "You seem like a nice guy. Why do you waste your time with her? She is such a Prima Donna. You could do a lot better." She always said that to me. Yes, she was hatin' big time and not because she wanted me... she didn't. She just hated my girlfriend... a hatred that went back to their high school days.

I was in pretty bad spirits and I told her about the argument we had. She asked me, "Well, where were you going to go?" I told her that we were going to get something to eat and then go to a movie. It was too late for a movie by that time... it was nearly midnight. (Remember this is Philly, not New York. If it was New York, we could've found a movie.) She said, "Well, we can still go get something to eat." I looked at her and asked, "We?" She said, "Sure, I'll go with you." So, we got on the bus (yes, the bus... few of us had cars or drivers licenses then but, at that time, I didn't have either) and rode downtown.

We actually found a spot to eat that was open and serving a lot of people. I had one of the best roast beef and cheese sandwiches ever and some hot chocolate with the marshmallows on top. This person, who is still a close friend of mine today, helped me get over a broken heart and helped me make a decision that would affect the rest of my life. She said, "Don't go back to her if she's treating you like that... you can do bad alone. If you can't get what you want in a relationship, keep looking until you find her but, why keep goin' down the same old path and getting the same results over and over again. It's like running on a treadmill, Keith. Stop the madness....Change it up baby."

My friend, who was five years my junior, had spoken the words of a poet and changed the flow of my life. I thanked her, paid our bill, and rode back home with her. My girl saw us coming back together and saw me walk her to her door. I looked right in her face, smirked, and walked down the street. When I got home there was a message on my answering machine that said, "Oh, so I'm supposed to be jealous? I don't care!" Famous last words... that would be the last time she would see me in that capacity.

Christmas came and Christmas left. New Year's came and went... and nothing. Four days after the new year, I met another girl in a video store... her name was Rosalyn and we've been together ever since. I believe she gave me the type of relationship I was looking for and I believe what I said to that last girl rang true, even though I didn't know it when I was saying it.

The next time someone breaks your heart... let 'em go... because the one who just might heal your heart could be right around the corner.