Blowin' In The Wind (Conclusion)

As expected, Tyrone got wind of the fact that I was seeing "his girl" and he didn't like it too much. He didn't like me but, he couldn't do anything about me. He didn't know me and didn't know who I was associated with but, he had something I didn't have, a hold on this girl.

Apparently, he told her in no uncertain terms that he didn't want me buying anything for his son, didn't want me holding his son, playing with his son, or doing anything with his son. (I had bought her son a stuffed animal and thus, she gave it back to me.) Ask me what his father ever bought for the little boy. Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that out.

It also seemed like Tyrone always knew just when to drop by "to see his son" when he thought that I might be there. After about a month of this, he got to be such a nuisance that I stopped going to her house... I would have her come to my house instead.

I should tell you that, neither my mother nor my brother thought much of her. My mother said, "She's a prissy little thing." My brother used the term he always used for any of my girlfriends... "high maintenance". I couldn't argue with either of them. I was growing more miserable everyday just being with this girl.

When we were together, she was flirting with other guys, right in my face. When she wasn't flirting, she was on the phone (at my house) arguing with her son's father... her "married" son's father who "couldn't get away to see her right now", as he put it.

After summer break, I went back to college to start my junior year, feeling like my little romance had been a disaster. In fact, I left for school early... I just wanted to "boogie oogie oogie" as far away from Philly as I could get.

I never called that girl again... never tried to date her again... but, I did keep up with her movements from time to time. She got pregnant again about two years later. Who was the father? You guessed it... Tyrone. Needless to say, his wife asked him for a divorce… she was no dummy. You would think that now the two of them would be free to be together right? Wrong! Tyrone married yet another girl two years later and had twins with her.

Fast forward to 1989... a good eleven years after these events. I was at City Hall, getting a marriage license and who did I see in the same courthouse getting a divorce? Tyrone. By this time, we were no longer adversaries... just two black men from the neighborhood downtown dealing with "the man" for different reasons. We had a little small talk and I told him that I was getting married. He asked me if it was my first time and I said, "Yes". He smiled and said, "Good Luck" and we went our separate ways.

In the year 2000, I ran into Tyrone again and he had just gotten married for the third time! Today, his son by my ex-girlfriend is now 30 years old... his other son by her is now 28 years old... his son by his first wife is now 29 years old... his twins by his second wife are now 27 years old. He also has three more sons by another woman he was living with and they are now teenagers. And, by the way, Tyrone is still seeing my ex-girlfriend off and on. She has never married... I guess she's still waiting for Tyrone to put a ring on her finger.

Epilogue

I will say this to all of my female readers... There is a time in a man's life when there is a window of opportunity for him to be susceptible to the idea of marriage and you have to know when he is feeling you that way. In fact, he'll let you know... you won't have to do anything. He'll be so into you that you won't be able to get rid of him until you do marry him.

Men are hunters by nature. If you have been with a guy for over five years and he has never brought up the subject of marriage, it doesn't mean he doesn't ever want to get married... it means he might not want to marry you.

I never could understand how she could stay with Tyrone, have another child, and yet, watch him marry TWO other women. I figured out that in her case, having A MAN was better than not having any man. I also reasoned that he was in a position where (in a twisted kinda way) he couldn't disappoint her anymore. She didn't have to worry about him having another woman, (he had a wife)... SHE was now his OTHER woman.

When I told her I was getting married in 1989, she was 29 and starting to hear that biological clock start ticking. She and Tyrone began seeing each other again. He was living with a woman then (who he would have three children by) and he went on and married yet another woman in 2000, as I stated above. For him, this was a great arrangement... have your cake and eat it too (and, then some).

The shame of it is, here is a woman who has wasted a good part of her life (didn't finish college and had to raise two children by herself) who might have given the world something great had she not deferred her potential chasing a guy who thought she was good enough to bed but, never good enough to wed.

Life... your life, is too precious and way too short to waste chasing anybody... especially someone with so little regard for you. I knew that about her... it's a shame she didn't know that about Tyrone.

I'm not bitter, even if it appears that I am... that was a long time ago. To answer my question "How long will a woman wait for a man?" I suppose it's as long as she thinks it's necessary but, the true answer to that is blowing in the wind.............................................

This story was told for "Dreamy", because she wanted to know... Zack, because we've all been through it with the women... for "Miz" and "O.G.", because this story will give them a good laugh, if nothing else... and for "All Mi T", because it is about the "Man" in us!