Only In Philadelphia

You know you're in Philadelphia when . . .

1. You can run out of gas at a fast-food drive-in.

2. Cameras are put up at high-risk accident intersections but, kids and adults can stand in the middle of residential highways and collect money for sports, sell water, roses and no one notices.

3. You can buy a "Philly blunt" at gas stations, newsstands, etc., even if you're under 18.

4. A crack addict will come up to you to sell something he already stole from you.

5. Sometimes the best "throws" at a Phillies game are when the fans are tossing visiting-team home-run balls back out on the field.

6. You can get a cable bill sent to you for next month while you're standing in line to pay your current bill.

7. A mayor will invite you to sit down with him at City Hall to watch "The Wire." Many guys who showed up probably said to themselves: So, that's how it's done. Why watch it when you can just drive around the city, Mr. Mayor?

8. A major-league pitcher can enter anger management for problems with his wife, get a raise, tell his team he doesn't want to be a starter, and still be here.

9. An unaccomplished basketball player who happens to have the same initials as a superstar (who Larry Brown drafted and didn't build around) can turn down $57 million when all he does is dunk.

10. An ex-major-league pitcher can become an expert analyst and tell us how home runs are hurting us and you have to get the ball over the plate! Somewhere Joe Carter is still laughing.